Thursday, September 3, 2009
I flew to Malawi on the 31st early morning and was reunited with my son in the evening at the Malawi National Police Headquarters. I was met there with my ex husband's brother who was keeping my son and my brother in law (Idris Liya). They did not have even a glint of regret for doing what they have done so far, furthermore my ex's brother warned me to take off the posts on the internet about them and apologize! I told him i will not as i did not write anything false and it was the net that helped me find my son! yes a friend on FB i added from Malawi was the one who gave me the address and even took photographs of my son when he came out to play! Initially when the cops in Malawi had gone to ask about my son my brother in law had lied saying, since he married a malawian girl no one from his family spoke to him or met him! but when i sent the cops the candid shots of my son that was taken in the same address, they took it to him and confronted him, that's when he had said I am sorry i made a mistake and did not know this was a kidnap and so on.
If i had not made the world see the truth i would have not gotten my son back! Also this does not end here as i am being threatened and followed! Even the way back from Malawi! Shoaib was wearing the watch i gifted my ex on our wedding and he stopped wearing it coz of his eczema......... Lol, maybe he gave it to the brother as a bribe! This is the same boy i fought my in law's for! to make them understand the fact that if he loves somebody he should be with her! they brought him down from Malawi in 2005 and tried hiding his passport so that he cant go back and so on! they all hated me for supporting him! but now the same person i supported has turned against me! How come Shoaib? How could you just forget everything? you are married to the one you loved, Zainab and and you also have a child! with the same people who disowned you, you are torturing me!
Idris on the other hand sounded like he wanted to sympathies with me but was forced to go along with his in law's! Not one not two but an entire family refuses to acknowledge their fault and have even pulled their in law's, friends and their entire community down with them! My ex has betrayed and played out his very good friends who trusted and loved him enough to mortgage their houses to help him with business! what was the fault of these people? do you really think they can trust any one else again? How can some one discard people and break their trust and feelings so easily and act like nothing happened?
With all the cases filed against him on money laundering, fraud and so on, the police investigation has brought out many shocking information about my ex husband's past! I shiver every time i think of my past! being married to him and being a part of the Cader family! Gambling has also been one of his habits and the others i wish not to mention as they are too degrading for me to even mention! I will drop the case as promised but god is watching!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
To quote some of the words my ex' and his family have asked people to tell me through their contacts in Sri Lanka & their demands are..... "it was not Our intention to kidnap ABU, we only wanted him to grow up with his family among his community" ( who am i to my son? ) also that they "want the mother to drop the charges against the kidnapper" and "then they are ready to hand over the child" they want me to come to Malawi on these conditions! how do i trust them???? and if i dont? what do they imply by saying this? i have received this message from very high authorities! I have said i will withdraw the case once my son is returned to me! THIS IS RECORDED EVEN IN COURT! why is my word, given and spoken so freely not accepted? I did not deceive them! I did not run away! I am not the one playing with a 4 year old's life! WHY??? Is there no justice left in this world?
without this case why would they give me my child back? I will go to the end of the world for my child but if i am no more, who will fight this? who will save my child from these people? my voice is too thin and hence this whole case is being hushed down! Please help me be heard! help me be louder! save my child!
During this time if anything happens to me! please somebody, save my son! Dont let them bring him up like them and do things that they have done! Please dont let Abu to grow up and be in so much debt that he has to run away from the country! I dont want my child to grow up a lier, a cheat, an abuser or a thief who steals other people's money and child and walks away like it's his right to do so!
Please help me!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
The time i was carrying Abu, i think i was 4 months in to my pregnancy, my ex husbands little sister was getting ready for her marriage. The whole family was getting ready, me too as that was the first time after i became a part of my ex husbands family a function was taking place. So all preparation was being made for all of us to go to Porbandar, India where the wedding would take place and i was excited as that was also the first time i was going to visit the village my ex husbands family hailed from. The plan was that my mother in law and Shahista (the bride to be then), my father in law and my other sister in law and kids would go to India from Sri Lanka 3 weeks prior to the wedding and my self and my husband would go there few days before the wedding.
But close to the departure of my in laws they had trouble getting their visa to India, so i took all of their passports and went and stood out side the Indian Embassy in Sri lanka, got an appointment with the officer in charge and explained the situation and the need for the visa's to be issued.......... He was kind enough to issue the visa's immediately as he saw a pregnant lady standing there alone for hours. Now when i think back i dont remember being thanked! Lol, well i guess it did not matter then and still does not as i would have done anything for my family.
I remember the wedding so well! It was nice and i thought that i was finally being accepted as one of them. But i have always been wrong when it came to my husband or his family. I have done all I can for that family a specially been there for my sister in Law Shahista and my Mother in Law, in many ways they may not remember. I have looked after their interest and been both their elder brother and elder brother’s wife as my ex never did anything for them. I have always given up on things I wanted to make sure they had what they want! Even my parents have done so……………….. I was living in denial, and my stupidity has put my only child in pain today! What would be going on in Abu’s mind now? how confused he must be? why is my mother not here with me? where is amma? when is amma coming?
Oh please oh god, help me find my son! forgive me for living in denial! I realize things now, I see people for what they are! Please bring my son back to me! Please bring Abu back to me!
Saturday, August 22, 2009
In the last 35 days, i have been battling with the authorities and frantically searching for my son, speaking to people online begging everyone to take a moment to look at the photographs and see if they can spot them! I have also been looking at my past............ Abu was born on the 14th of October 2004, and he had to be kept in the Neonatal ICU as he had complications due to mine and my husband’s blood groups. Feizal, my ex husband is O positive and i am B negative. I had a miscarriage before Abu and during that time i was not given an injection called the rogam injection which could have stopped my antibody cells to rise when i conceived again. I was not aware of this at that time. So when i conceived again my anti bodies in my blood started rising and it could have affected abu's physical growth or abu could have even been still born.
But by god's grace and the care of my gynecologist who asked me to go to India when i was 5 and a half months for scans and care. I stayed alone in India for 2 months in a hotel and travelled to the Hospital every other day. In all that time my mother would fly down to India during the weekends to be with me and my gynecologist would call to make sure i was ok and check on the medicines! My husband and his family called me twice, once to ask me to go see their relatives who might misunderstand if i dont visit them and the second to ask when am coming back! anyways Abu was fine till he was born.
When Abu was born, he was taken into the ICU! i was not allowed into the ICU except once in 2 hours when i had to pump milk and give so that the nurses could feed Abu! he was so small! and he had plasters all over him with a needle one day on his feet and the other day on his hand! after four awful days they put him in my arms and allowed me to feed him! Finally after one week the doctor discharged him and we were allowed to go home. During this entire episode my mother would stay the nights with me in the hospital and in the morning she would get dressed and leave to work. My mom was, has and is my strength! My mother in Law would come in the evenings but my husband hardly came to see me or Abu!
Around a month after Abu was born, i asked my husband why he does not spend anytime even after work with me or Abu? He was annoyed and he shouted at me and said what have i got from you? why should i stay? I was shocked! I did not understand, i could not stop crying not knowing what he wanted out of a marriage! love? i gave in abundance! understanding? I have never even asked where he go's at night and what he does or even ask for anything to be bought for me! Respect? I have never told his parents anything about him, even if i would be crying and sad when we leave to his parents house on Sundays i will be all smiles when my mother in Law opened the door. I have never ever left home and run to my parents at any time and I have always stood by him and never ever let anybody say anything about him! then what? money? well i gave him everything i had, I helped his sisters wedding, i did everything i could when i was working and gave him all, when he was in debt i gave him all my jewelry including the chain that is tied on the wedding day and is worn by a woman as the symbol........... the only thing he did not get was a dowry! But even before marriage i told him many times that i dont believe in buying a husband with a dowry and hence do not expect one as i wont let my parents do that. What ever, when ever they wanted to give they will. But it was money he was after!
Maybe money is everything! Like the saying money makes or breaks a relationship. The hope of being wealthy overnight made my marriage and the fact that it was not coming soon enough broke it! I am ashamed to have been the wife of a man like this! And I am ashamed I had a child for this man! And today I am ashamed to even say that I knew the ABDUL CADER OSMAN GANI family!
Writing this does not make me proud for this is my confession of my stupidity! I only hope and pray that these people who have done this to me and my child, do not go through the same. For the pain I went through then and the heart ache I am going through now is not something I would want even my worst enemy to go through. God has brought me through so far, he will guide me to find my child as well! I believe!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
if you do not use Facebook you can email me for details or pictures of them. I am afraid if I dont find him soon he might be taken away from Malawi. the pic above is the latest pic I have of my son and my ex husband. if you see them please get in touch with me.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Abdul Cader Osman Gani
He is 64 years same as my late father if he was alive. I always thought that he was a reliable, respectable and honorable man. A Muslim who abides by the rules and teachings of Islam. Even initially when i learned of the kidnapping i believed that My father in law and my mother in law would not have been a part of this, maybe they were lied to by my ex husband as for as long as i have known Feizal, my ex husband never spoke the truth even if his life depended on it.
But then i learned that they had planned this together and even discussed with their friends, though the friends have warned them not to do this saying it was wrong. My father in law has aided the kidnap and also left Sri Lanka without informing the same people he had discussed this matter with.
When i called my mother in law's family, where all the weddings and functions take place and my In law's stay when they go to India to ask for a phone number or contact address, they said they only talk to my in laws family when they call hence they do not have a phone number and did not know their where about! but all along my father in law had been there with them....
These were the people i trusted and respected the most! I have never even run to them complaining about their son or fought with them! I thought that what their son was not their fault and at their old age i should not worry them. but now..............They have two daughters too, would they have let this happen to them? how would they have taken this if it happened to them? As a mother of four and a grand mother, how could my Mother in Law do this? In what way am i less human than her daughter or herself?
As i am frantically searching for my son also trying to digest the things these people together have done to me, I still do not want them to be punished by the law. What they have done is between them and God and justice will be done by him! The legal proceedings taken by me is to ensure the safe return of my only child, Abu. But if anyone who know's them is reading this and can contact them please ask them to return my son before its too late to stop the proceedings. Just call me, talk to me, we can resolve this matter! All i want is my only child back!
Please give me my son back!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
This is the photograph that appears on my son's passport. He was seven months then. He was so curious of the camera and the lights at the studio that he sat still with me holding him from behind. He was and is such a charmer!
I hope that i will have him beside me soon.